Ha ha, as you North Americans say, it’s Burl! Yes, I’m here
with a very peculiar movie to tell you about today, Flick! I’m not sure why it was ever called Flick – probably some attempt at pre-emptive self-effacement! As in
“Ha ha, don’t be expecting Citizen Kane
here; this is just a simple flick!” Anyway, the movie was quickly retitled Dr. Frankenstein on Campus, a name by
which it’s probably better known and which suits it better in any event!
Because it’s about exactly that! We first meet young Viktor Frankenstein as he’s tossed out of his
posh European university for dueling! Quickly he
relocates to the University of Toronto, where he finds a
grumpy, silver-tongued dean, a solicitous but strangely-acting professor, a
nubile young journalism student who can’t keep her brassiere on, a tae-kwon-do
expert who is for some reason Viktor’s friend, and a situation of campus unrest
which seems to have been imported from movies made two or three years earlier!
Viktor suffers constant references to the famous character
whose name he shares, and faces these jibes down with the same steely-eyed glare he has
theretofore kept in reserve merely for pets, lovers, dope-smoking radicals and
any other living creatures which cross his path! He’s there working on a
program of brain control, which happens to be exactly what his professor is
working on too; Frankenstein, however, is convinced the process can be made
wireless!
But there’s trouble! Viktor attends a crazy student
rumbustification at which flower people don helmets and engage in headbutt
parties; where motorized exercise contraptions are put to uses other than for
which they were intended; and where mind-drugs are smoked! Viktor is photographed
while peering disdainfully at a foil-wrapped package; this snap and an
accompanying article make the front page of the student paper, and Viktor is immediately
expelled by Dean Wormer Cantwell on suspicion of being a drugs fiend!
Well, it’s vengeance time! Viktor inserts a mind controller
in his tae-kwon-do pal Tony, and Tony becomes a robotic chopmaniac, punching
people to death left and right! The fellows who refused to stand up for Viktor,
the photographer who took the picture, the reporter who wrote the story and
finally the dean himself all fall victim to bops, bashes and biffs, and some
pretty stiff neck-twists in the bargain! Then finally there’s a surprise ending
involving a clumsy child, Professor Preston, some radio control boxes and a
bunch of unraveling stitches!
Robin Ward, whom we know from Explosion and, later, game shows, plays the sulky, foppish Viktor
with maximum haught! (But don't call him uptight - he is very down loose, ha ha!) His would-be mentor, Professor Preston, is essayed
by Sean Sullivan, the old bank guard from The Silent Partner and Johnny’s dad in The
Dead Zone! The relationship between these two brain scientists, and the
dean too, and the campus science atmosphere in general, strongly recalls (or foreshadowed) the
great Re-Animator, but almost nothing
else does! Ha ha! I’ll tell you, it could sure use some good old Re-Animator gore, but of that it has
none!
It’s a weird movie: plenty of setup and then a bizarrely
rushed conclusion that makes just no darn sense! Ha ha, it’s got one of the baggiest, most amateurish scripts
ever written in terms of structure and, well, just about everything else; the
dialogue is all crazy gobbledygook and boring declamation; the characters are
silly cartoons! It has virtually none of the ingredients commonly thought to
make up a good movie!
And yet there’s also a strange innocence to the whole
affair, and a great deal of odd detail, and a tiny soupçon of exuberant
goofiness; and all of this makes it more palatable, and even enjoyable! If
you’re a fan of the band Lighthouse you will surely have some itches scratched
as well! (I’ve always found them too moustache-jazzy myself!) Plus it has nude
bosoms, which I wasn’t expecting, though given the generous helpings of same in
contemporaneous Canadian films like Homer
and Paperback Hero, maybe I should
have been!
Anyway, I’ve gone on long enough! I can’t recommend this movie very
highly, but at the same time I urge that you watch it! And if you can’t find
it, then at least read the fine review of it at Canuxploitation, the excellent
website from whence I poached the image seen above! I give Flick, aka Dr. Frankenstein
on Campus, one and a half majestic housepet battles!
Hello! Burl! Gun! Head! Finger! Boom! Bye!
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