Burl reviews Weird Science! (1985)

Fats, man, ha ha, it’s me, Burl! Yes, the picture I thought I’d review today is that gem in the John Hughes cineverse, Weird Science! Ha ha, a lot of people will tell you their favourite is Curly Sue, but not me! Of course, I’ve never seen Curly Sue, so who knows, maybe when I do I’ll think it’s just great!

But we are here to talk Weird Science, which is apparently facing a Full Metal Jacket-style soap-beating in the form of an impending remake! Ha ha, I know I’ve promised to review all the movies, but I’m not sure I’ll ever bring myself to watch that one! Not that the original is my most beloved picture ever or anything, but still, most anything enjoyable about it stems directly from either its 80s provenance or its performances!

Gary and Wyatt are two high school buddies in the Hughesian kingdom of Shermer, the fictional Chicago suburb in which most of his movies take place! Nobody likes these two geeks, and they’re pretty hopeless with the ladies! But they have a little sleepover and manage to use computer power, hocus-pocus and just a dash of weird science to create a full, life-sized lady, whom they name Lisa! And Lisa has magical powers in the bargain! Ha ha, not bad for a Friday night in Shermer!

Well, Lisa is played by the lady from Hard to Kill, and the first thing she does for these young hufnagels is to take them to a blues bar, the sort of club you only find in movies like this and, apparently, Adventures in Babysitting! (Ha ha, that’s a picture I’ve never seen! Should I give it a look, do you think?) There we suffer through a long, drawn out Old Bluesman impersonation from Anthony Michael Hall! Ha ha, crazy insane? Insane? Crazy? Answer: yes!

Well, the rest of the plot involves Gary and Wyatt suffering humiliations at the hands of Robert Downey Jr. from The Avengers and Due Date, and Robert Rusler from A Nightmare on Elm Street part 2 and Vamp, and then having a big party where they find their inner courage after a biker attack (ha ha, the terrific Michael Berryman shows up, of all people!) and learn it’s best to try and just be themselves! Blech, ha ha! They also defeat the mighty Chet, played by Bill Paxton! He’s pretty funny, and it’s nice to see those gun-toting jarhead type of guys get the treatment they deserve!

It’s an expensive looking picture because of all the crazy destruction that happens at the party, and the supernatural reversal of that destruction later on! Thanks to the cast it’s often very funny too, though not for the reasons it thinks! Downey get a ha ha from me just for saying “You do!” so brightly in response to a question from Lisa, and Paxton gets one for the line “What are they doing in there?!?!” It’s all in the delivery, ha ha! I also liked Gary’s explanation of his father’s profession!

There’s certainly not much to the movie, and it’s frequently very dumb, and not once does it come close to making any sense whatsoever! But ol’ Burl can roll with that, ha ha! I’ll always enjoy it for reasons that are entirely my own, and I guess that on reflection I’ll award Weird Science two and a half Rex Harrison hats!