Ha ha and double boo, it’s Burl! Now, call
me crazy, but I like my Halloween pictures to have some Halloween atmosphere,
and when this movie, Halloween Night,
or is that Hack-O-Lantern, started
off with a shot of a pick-up truck full of pumpkins, I was heartened! I’m
afraid the picture didn’t have the follow-through that I hoped for, but there
were a few compensations for that!
The movie is better known as Hack-O-Lantern, and indeed the Halloween Night title card on my copy is
clearly a replacement! The story involves the grandpa driving the pumpkin
truck, played by Hy Pike from Hollywood High, Slithis, Blade Runner, and Vamp, who turns out to be a crazy Satanist with plans for, and a
powerful hold over, his grandson Tommy! Tommy has a younger brother and sister,
and a mother who looks perpetually anxious and careworn!
Thirteen years on, Grandpa has a new
pumpkin truck and Tommy has grown into a sullen, fish-lipped guy who wears a
vest with no shirt (when he wears anything at all) and who tosses cassette
tapes around carelessly, wears sunglasses all the time, and dreams of rock
videos in which he plays guitar, is zapped by laser eyebeams, and then is decapitated!
Ha ha! He’s played by Gregory Scott Cummings from Action U.S.A., Phantom of the Mall, and Cliffhanger!
Roger, the little brother, has become a
rookie cop, and Vera, the sister, is still just Vera, ha ha! It’s the night of
the big Halloween party, and somebody in a robe is occasionally poking people
with sharp implements! Victims include Tommy’s girlfriend, who is famous for
her bum tattoo, and Vera’s boyfriend, who ogles the aforementioned bum tattoo
(it’s actually a brand), but doesn’t deserve the shovel through the noggin that
he catches!
It’s all about the crazy, leering, handsy
grandpa and his desultory coven and their barn-bound activities, which include
dancing, chanting, cackling, sacrifice, and the branding of people’s bums! Happenings are random and plot twists arbitrary, and everything in the second half, including a comedy routine so bad I had to pause the movie and cover my eyes, seems
to revolve around a Halloween party that’s not nearly a patch on the bash in Primal Rage, ha ha! By the end the
grandpa has passed on the family bumbranding tradition, but thankfully not his penchant for wild overacting, to the least likely of
his grandchildren!
Well, it’s a terrible movie all right, but
just occasionally weird and random enough to warrant some interest from the undiscerning Halloweentime viewer! The script
is one of the worst ever written, and the direction is haphazard, and they try so slightly to create a Halloween atmosphere that they might better not have tried at all! Ha ha, without skeletal tree branches, heavy skies
and a few dead leaves blowing around, it just doesn’t... quite... make it! I’m going
to give Hack-O-Lantern, aka Halloween Night, one Dead End Drive-In poster, which I had on
my wall too! Ha ha!
No comments:
Post a Comment