Ha ha and zim-zam-zoom, it’s Burl, here to
review a story of witchery and hippery and rainstorms! Yes, it’s Simon, King of the Witches today, a tale
of supernatural doings in the streets of the fictional town of West Side!
The picture begins by showing off its
greatest asset: Andrew Prine, well-known from his appearances in Grizzly and The Evil, in
the role of Simon! He emerges from his storm drain on a rainy night and tells
us a little about himself, namely that he lives in the storm drain and is a
practicing warlock! Quickly he’s hassled by cops and tossed in the clink for an
overnight stay! In the pokey he meets Turk, a ginger-haired shorty played by George
Paulsin from The Bat People! This
young hustler quickly befriends Simon and facilitates his entrée into society!
The next thing you know, some pompous git passes
Simon a bad cheque! Well, ha ha, it’s clearly time for black magic
vengeance! The bearded warlock conjures up a swirling red optical effect, and
this entity proceeds to first hypnotize the cheque kiter and then fatally dump a
flowerpot on his head! In the meantime, Simon has met and, in his way, attempted
to romance Linda, the D.A.’s daughter, played by Brenda Scott! Of course the
D.A. himself, called Willard Rackum and played by Norman Burton from Mausoleum, is fairly unhappy about this,
and makes more trouble for Simon!
All Simon wants is to complete the erotic
ritual that will ensure his apotheosis and eventual godhead! It’s not much to
ask, ha ha, and after Simon calculates the precise time of day - 1:33 - that he
needs to enter the next realm, and after he talks endlessly about what’s he's going
to do exactly at that time, and makes many careful preparations for it, he misses
his moment by carelessly shooting the breeze with his moronic doper buddies
Shay and Troy! Ha ha! At this point Simon bugs out and calls down curses upon
the whole of West Side; and, in the spirit of curses doubling back upon their
casters, this proves Simon’s undoing, at least temporarily!
Ha ha, the sort of person who spells
“magic” with a K on the end of it tends to like this picture because it apparently treats
warlockery with a seriousness missing in many other pictures! I myself am not
so sure that it does - witness the sound effect they put in whenever the red
optical effect is on the prowl, for example, not to mention the Bill Rebane
quality of the optical itself - but Prine’s committed performance does indicate
a fierce advocacy from at least the thespian quarter! Simon is at turns grumpy,
insane, warm and friendly, homicidal, wry, and sad! His friendship with Turk, a
central feature in the picture, comes to a melancholy conclusion when Simon
reluctantly casts a spell to sever the friendship forever!
So there’s some interesting stuff going on
in the picture, and the scenes with the malevolent red optical effect are entertaining!
Ha ha, there’s a scene where Simon and Turk (who is dressed as a chauffeur for some
reason) visit a Wiccan gathering, at which witches of all ages disrobe and
chant and shake bums while a goat watches impassively from his altar; and the broom-breaking
conflict depicted here is pretty good at demonstrating the internecine scorn to
be found in the supernatural community! In fact it’s the feeling of community,
both within the witchy world and among the down-and-outers, heads and
hangers-on of West Side, that proves perhaps the movie’s most interesting aspect!
But the movie is also frequently dull, and it can
be a bit silly too! Even so, it strikes a good tone, not too self-serious, but
not willfully goofy! Warhol superstar Ultra Violet shows up at one point,
playing the Wiccan priestess, and then there’s the memorable line “Don’t touch
me - I’m a religious object!” Ha ha! In the end, while I can’t say I like this
picture as much as many people do, and while I wish they’d gone the Night of the Demon route and included a
scary monster instead of the optical effect, I’d still say it’s a solid curio
that’s well worth a look! I give Simon,
King of the Witches two flash floods!
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