Ah ha ha, it’s Burl, here to review a movie about some
ladies! Yes, these ladies are headed down to Florida for spring break, but this
isn’t Where The Girls Are, or even Where The Girls Are ’84! It’s not even Spring Break! No, the picture in
question is called Spring Breakers,
and it comes straight from the director of Gummo!
Yes, that director is Harmony Korine, who of course appeared recently in Stoker!
I remember seeing Gummo
at a film festival and really enjoying it! And naturally I’m a big fan of Spring Break, so I thought this
combination of elements was a no-miss situation, ha ha!
The picture features many shots of bikini ladies and their
male counterparts! There’s a lot of rambunctious shenanigans depicted, and then
we get the beginnings of a story: four ladies attending a small-town college
decide that a jaunt to Florida is simply a must! But, ha ha, their funding is
substandard, so three of them do a violence crime, then it’s off to the
Dangleberry State, bikinis packed!
Once there, it’s partytime! Ha ha, there are all sorts of
montages that are maybe meant to look fun, or maybe meant to look boring while
dressed in the raiment of fun; and if that latter option is the case, then well
done Mr. Korine! The ladies get into some trouble with mind drugs, and the next
thing you know they’ve been slapped in the pokey, skimpy bikinis and all!
Next thing you know, the ladies are bailed out by James
Franco from Rise of the Planet of the Apes! He’s essentially playing himself in the picture, and I think his
character may even have been named James Franco, which is frequently the case
with this actor, I believe! James Franco here sports many ugly tattoos and a
hideous silver grill, and he owns many firearms! The ladies have different
tolerance levels for James Franco and his lifestyle, and first one leaves the
scene, and then, after being shot in the arm, another one is on her way home!
That leaves two ladies left for a most unlikely climax!
Ha ha, I really liked the idea that the ladies would leave
at just the point they felt they’d had too much! It was certainly the most realistic aspect of the movie! Otherwise there’s
not all that much to grasp on to, ha ha, in the picture! There’s lots of pretty
ladies in itty-bitty teeny-weenie, though not polka-dot, bikinis, it is true,
and plenty of stylish visuals thanks to the grand cinematography of Benoit
Debie, and there’s an entertaining performance by the actor who played James
Franco! I would probably have appreciated more what Harmony Korine was doing
had I been familiar with the goody-two-shoes past credits of at least two of
the young ladies, for whom this picture apparently represented a wholesale
change of pace! So there’s a whole meditation on the parallels between American
celebrity and American life running through the picture, I suppose, or
something of that nature, but ol’ Burl hasn’t watched enough contemporary
tween-age TV to pick up on it I guess! Ha ha!
So as a result, for me, Spring
Breakers was spottily amusing, consistently nice to look at (ha ha!) and
ultimately pretty empty! I’m going to give it two dollar sign hubcaps and a
hearty ha ha, and off I go to watch the true granddaddy of the form, Spring Break!
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